I don't want riches. I don't want money. I don't want any of that. I just want the gradients of euphoria and I want them all the time. That's all. Why did I skew such vision and contorted them to this trival pursuit of a stake in the social ladder? Why did I exercise my mind with such fervor to divine the complexities of another man's work? For what purpose does this serve but to ensconce my existence in this world as a trivial comparison of trivial qualities? I'm tired of trying to answer my own confusion with some half-hearted, not carefully thought out, and impulsive analysis. I just want answers. How do I live easily in this life? Yet be challenged in a way that suits my intellectual range? Why am I so hynotized by this world we live in? Why have I come out of the cocoon of childhood that so happily envelops the soul in such protective shields? Why does adulthood have to mean an endless struggle for who is better in this world? What if I don't to be better? What if I don't want to compare with the rest of the world my worth? Can I still be a content yet happy yet stimulated person? So many questions, so many problems, and I only now realize that the things I have in this world bare down on me as much as as if I control them. The taste for material is such an addiction. The lust for women such a instinctual craving. How can the attainment of these two things fulfill any man? They cannot. They are the perpetual champions of lost direction. Wealth and women attain only the instinctual craving, with the introspective, creative, and analytical minds on the backburner. The vast majority of us spend our whole lives trying to attain the first two and never quite get there. For those of us that do get there, surely you lose part of yourself in your effort. I wish I had the genius of conquering every quality but I do not. I can only disdain the system and look back uncertainly when thinking of ways to attain the latter 3. Life promises nothing yet we make promises everyday. What a paradox..